I'm the wife of an intern and we try to make a night each week to go do something, just the two of us. The church didn't do it to her but it helped create the environment that allowed it to happen. Pray about it and follow your heart. Now that my boyfriend and I are beginning to talk about a future together, though, I realize that I need to consider this question of marrying outside of the church very carefully. If you decide to marry this man, you both will find a way to be happy and have a wonderful marriage, not that perfect that we see in the Sundays at Church.
She will be pressured and will likely shut you out. Your relationship with your family will be healed, and so will you. I'm in the exact same pulling-out-my-hair situation that you are. He was the best decision I have ever made in my life, hands down. Reading all your comments makes me feel sometimes uplifted, other times scared as hell. Also don't ask questions that are too intrusive, or those that you would not like to answer yourself. Getting things done, solve every problems, started my day with long a to-do list daily. I'm pretty disturbed by the level of dismissiveness seen in many of the comments here. The gold is in the footnotes and sources linked from those new essays. I hate to be so undiplomatic, but it will always create friction in your life to have this level of religious difference.